Day 191 in my seeking to be a healthier me when I meet Mickey (7 months and 28 days to go)
As an obese overeater, I have learned some very self-destructive behaviors. I learned early on to isolate myself, so that I could hide my poor eating habits. Alone, I could binge on my sugary treats to my heart’s content. Only my heart was never content, and I was always filled with self-loathing after I binged.
Now looking back I can see how strange that must sound. When your drug of choice is food (sugar and salty carbs in particular), it should be pretty obvious that you are going to gain weight and people who see you will pretty much be aware of your drug of choice. But at the time I felt I had to hide my poor eating habits from the public at large. (Excuse the pun.)
So part of my strategy, to break out of old patterns, is to become more sociable, to bring what I have hidden in darkness, out into the light. It’s a terrifying process, but it is a healthy process.
So today I got up and went to church. I worshipped the God that loves me and sees the beauty in me that I cannot truly yet see myself, and I visited with some other church family members. It was wonderful to share and to listen to these dear ladies share with me. There was First Communion today, and 12 fourth and fifth graders took their First Communion with their families. Beautiful! They used chalices that they had painted themselves and shared their cup with their family. (My favorite chalice was the one with the Cubs symbol on one side and a cross on the other side. LOL) BTW: I passed up the amazing looking cake that was there to celebrate with the kids today. Victory!
Then rather than going home and holing up for the rest of the day, I went and visited with my dear sister-friend, Joan. She is a bit homebound because of health issues and winter-itis. I had a wonderful, long visit Jo. We chatted about everything. She is my barefoot friend. The kind of friend that you can share anything with. Nothing is off limits. We’ve been through Curves together. We’ve been to Overeaters Anonymous together. We have seen so much together. She has seen me at my best and at my worst, and she loves me just the same. She is a living, breathing example of the love of God in my life. I came home feeling very blessed.
That’s it for today, dear readers. I pray that all is well with you and yours, and that you are able to spend time with the living God who loves you today. Meet you at the Kingdom!
2 thoughts on “Shining Light into the Darkness”
I love and enjoy your posts!:)
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Thank you, Natalie. Sometimes it’s really hard to be honest with myself. But I always eventually feel better in the end.
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